Things I hear

"That's affirmative."

"You been reading that dictionary again Mr. Brown?"

Neat, Shmeat!

This is how _real_ electrcians tie up slack!

...right?

Jungle gym complete

Drunk quote:

"Hell yeah....you better wrap it before you tap it!"

Preplanned Response...

To 'What are you doing this weekend?'

I got a big load in called Your Mom. I was requested.

I'm gonna go to the liquor story buy 2 beers, get a magazine (they're cheaper there), and go home.

Gotta work only way I can afford this glamorous life.

You mean this week will end?

Sleep

Haha gay

Really?

"Pull your shutter in"... shut up bitch

Supervisor comment:

Boss: Thank you, guys.

Crew member: {something I missed}

Boss: ...no, that was a sincere thank-you.....as opposed to a 'fuck you' thank-you....

Crew member: Aahhhh...the old 'fuck you' thank-you!

What I heard actually was what they said...

"I think you should come on the downstage side of the bush"

"Yeah, but then when he comes into you, I think you can just stay still"

Best blocking directions ever.

I feel self-conscious eating ice cream now

Well you should be used to using your tongue when you have cream in your mouth

STOPWATCH

TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK   kill   TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK   me   TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK

Dear, dear, dear...

SM: *sigh* "I don't know if I can watch this kid act anymore..."

Things you hear on the street outside "a restaurant" at 12:18am

"Shut up? You shut up! I don't even know the meaning of that word!"

"If he wasn't gay, I'd be on that...<growl>..ON THAT!"

Scotch

"This hurts a little...I like it"

How SMs call shows

So, I'm going to say "Lights 2 go, blah blah blah, sound 5 go."

Talkback fun

Kid: "How old is the girl that stole all the cookies."

Actress: "The lady who plays my daughter in this show is over 21..."

Kid: "I knew it!"

What they said, what I heard

Said: "Yes, ha-ha pee and butt are funny"

What I heard: "Yes, ha-ha pee in butt is funny"

There is a break in the cues...

SM: "Your resume should be like an interesting cocktail party about yourself. So I thought, is my cocktail party interesting?"

Sound guy: "I think my resume is like a tray of saltines, cheese wiz and a beer".

Ants in the theatre...

This is disgusting. And our facilities buddy says we can't use ant traps cause they attract ants... Time to get out the flame thrower